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04 June 2011 @ 04:42 pm
 I haven't updated in a few weeks, just because I've been so busy with catching up with school, and cramming for last minute stuff. Monday is my last day, and then Summer <3 But I'm sort of upset because I can't get a summer job, anywhere.. and my cousin got her first job at the first place she applied.. it's sort of annoying, that she can get a job, when she never even had one and has no experience.. and I can't. I don't know. I have so many plans for the summer, and I just don't see them all falling together.
12 May 2011 @ 06:54 pm
 I've been getting really dizzy lately, when standing up after lying or sitting down.. and my vision would just fade to black. I think it's because I haven't been eating very much over the past two days. The fact is, I don't want to eat.. I know it's bad, but I want to lose weight.. I want to be skinny and beautiful. Everyday I see these pretty girls walking down the hall, and they're so thin.. and then I look at myself and I hate what I see. I hate what I see.. today I ate a yogurt for lunch, and when I got home I had a pickle.. then for dinner I had a turkey and cheese sandwich.. on flatbread.. but I had to eat that, or I was about to pass out. Every time I get up.. I feel like I could just pass out.. but it's worth it, isn't it?
Current Mood: tiredtired
08 May 2011 @ 12:07 am
Do you ever feel alone? So alone that even when there's someone in the next room you feel like they're miles away? That there's no way you can get to them, because they'd just never understand? Or maybe we only know the feeling of being alone, because we know what it feels like to have company... but to someone who's always been alone, does it have that familiar prickle of loneliness that is accompanied with an empty house, or a walk through the woods by yourself? What is it that makes us feel alone? If we had never known anything but loneliness, would we still be alone? Would our thoughts be enough? Or would we go completely insane and talk to ourselves.. (which I often do)? Does that define loneliness, or is that something else entirely? How do we know that we're alive if we live alone? Is living alone even living at all?
Current Mood: lonelylonely
07 May 2011 @ 03:37 pm
 Allergies suck.. being allergic to practically the world.. makes even the best things feel like shit.
Last night, for example.. I went to my school fair, which was fun.. we played a game on a wii, called "Just Dance" which was great, and they had a lot of good food and drinks.. which was even better. But still my allergies totally acted up throughout it all, and you'd think that since I get 3 shots every week, for my allergies, that they wouldn't be as bad.. but they're TERRIBLE. There's pollen EVERYWHERE.
So, in short... ALLERGIES SUCK.
Current Mood: blahblah
01 May 2011 @ 02:18 pm
 I realize I didn't update at all yesterday. I was really busy, but good results came out of it in any case.
I washed my car! And it really needed it, see my dad uses it too, and he's a, for lack of a better word, hog.. he really wears a car out good. So I told him that if he makes any more messes he's going to have to clean them up and if he doesn't he's getting his car privileges revoked. I mean, it is my car.. and it's the one thing that I can really say is mine. I also wen't clothing shopping (sort of?), I wouldn't usually get clothing at walmart, or any department store.. because usually that kind of clothing doesn't fit me well. But I got really cute shorts for 4 bucks a pop, and 3 tanks for about 5 each. I think that's pretty reasonable, because they're not the types of things I would wear to go out, but they're nice, and they're nice for lounging around or working out, especially in the summer.
Grandma made fried chicken today, and I must say it was fabulous. I haven't been eating much meat lately.. so it was really good. Though I did have salmon last night..
Right now, life just has that really mellow, laid back feeling.. it's good. I love moments in life like this and I'm trying to milk it as dry as possible! 
I still have to write that paper!!! But I still have time, it's only due tuesday.. cramming is my forte.
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
29 April 2011 @ 04:35 pm
 I have to get all this Easter candy I have out of my house, if I'm going to even attempt to start eating right.
Not only do I feel the need to lose weight.. but I've found that recently I've been getting heartburn and sour stomach.. I think I ingest to much caffeine or something.. so I should probably eat foods that are a bit more... bland. If anyone knows any good fun ways to spice up healthy food without sugar or spice, feel free to comment.
Also, I think I'm going to make a few more icons this weekend..
but I have to work on my senior project proposal and an English essay D:

P.S. I've been getting into The Who again <3

P.P.S. www.youtube.com/watch

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere- The Who
27 April 2011 @ 06:12 pm
 For some reason, I found myself putting off waking up this morning. 
I didn't go to bed as late as I usually do, last night, and I slept pretty much the whole night through.. 
I just didn't want to face the morning.
So, as you can imagine my day started out slow and bored, but progressed into a normal school day.
Despite the fact that I had an exceptional school day, I came home tired and took a seat on my best friend..
the couch, with a snack and a hilarious episode of That '70s Show..
a few minutes later, my older sister comes in, ranting to me and the next thing I know I'm being hit, scratched, punched and kicked by her.. for no legitimate reason, other than she felt like it.
So I cried...
but everything ended up... alright. 
I must say I might not have many friends.. but the ones I do have mean so much to me.
(lesson learned)
Current Mood: calmcalm
26 April 2011 @ 08:46 pm
 This is something, I wouldn't usually talk about. It's a sort of secret, something people really don't know about me... but I roleplay John Lennon on face book (Johnnie McLennon) and I don't want to anymore.. but I feel like I can't just leave.. I want to leave, but I can't. Firstly, the Paul I roleplay with has been my partner for 10 months.. and we both feel (maybe both) a sort of closeness that I suppose could be considered love for each other.. 
But it doesn't just stop there, I get jealous, I get mad.. hell we both do.. and at the moment it feels real, as if that's the only truth.. but it's not real. And I'm having a hard time deciphering reality from surreality.. feelings are feelings no matter what, love is love, jealousy is jealousy.. but it's wrong. What am I getting from this? It's not supposed to be a job.. it's for fun.. but it's not fun anymore. Sometimes it is.. but really all we do is argue, and fight, and I'm tired of that.. I'm tired of being someones "John", and that's it.. I don't know.. maybe I just need to find a Yoko..
Current Mood: blahblah
25 April 2011 @ 05:47 pm
I've made some icons!
(they're all pretty horrible)

-John Lennon
-George Harrison
-Andrew Vanwyngarden
-my art

Current Mood: accomplished
25 April 2011 @ 05:12 pm
 I think I'm going to try my hand at icon making.
Wish me luck!
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: heroes- david bowie